If she had known that Kunle would dump her the way he did, she wouldn't have slowed down her pace the day he tried to catch up with her. Scratch that, she wouldn't have stepped out of her house to go the store that day.
Thelma reminisced the moment, this time with a cloud of tears in her eyes replacing the smile that used to rest on her countenance at the memory. She had dated Kunle for two years and with hopes of getting married to him. The whole world knew they were in love but funnily enough, one year into their relationship, things had started to go south. The energy from Kunle's side went down. She consulted trusted friends and some told her it was normal, that the 'butterfly' stage had passed and that was why he was seeming cold. Thelma had wondered why her own butterflies seemed to be waxing stronger and his, dying. They told her it was like that for men, that women held more to emotions longer than men.
Thelma endured the cold responses to her enthusiastic, love-filled texts, the 'I'm very busy' excuses, the dates cancellation and off/on excitement about her from him. She had prayed, read books on rekindling love, listened to talks on relationships and held on the the already-aching thread of their relationship only for this guy to have the guts to tell her he couldn't continue the relationship anymore, that he got tired and he wasn't sure he ever loved her. He claimed she was pretty attractive and very charming but apparently, not charming enough to retain his love.
As she scrolled through the heart-breaking message for the umpteenth time, she made up her mind to do away with the other gender. Thelma started being unnecessarily mean, hostile and was full of negativity. The grief ate through her, till it consumed her very being.
Maybe you can relate with Thelma and you've lost something you cherished, been betrayed by a trusted friend, felt abandoned by God, disappointed by life itself, and maybe you've gone through all these over and over again and your heart can't take it anymore. You want to give up. In fact, you've given up.
Beloved, you do not have to let that grief consume you. It's purpose can be redirected to your favor. Your battles can only break you or make you stronger. You still have the very power to 'choose life' this day, to choose strength over brokenness, to see every situation as an opportunity to learn, Yes, you might have to repeat some 'classes' over and over, you might go through more series of lessons than the other person, but no matter how many you'd have to pass through, you can come out stronger and better than before.
Yes, I understand that sometimes, the easier route to take is the part of just giving up but hey, you don't do easy. You are stronger than easy and as much as you feel abandoned by your heavenly Dad, He's not left you even for a millisecond. His strength is made perfect in your weakness.
Lean into your grief, don't fight it, let it seep deep into you and fade as it will. Learn, re-learn and come back stronger.
Love ya.
