GROOMED, NOT CONSUMED

 If she had known that Kunle would dump her the way he did, she wouldn't have slowed down her pace the day he tried to catch up with her. Scratch that, she wouldn't have stepped out of her house to go the store that day. 

Thelma reminisced the moment, this time with a cloud of tears in her eyes replacing the smile that used to rest on her countenance at the memory. She had dated Kunle for two years and with hopes of getting married to him. The whole world knew they were in love but funnily enough, one year into their relationship, things had started to go south. The energy from Kunle's side went down. She consulted trusted friends and some told her it was normal, that the 'butterfly' stage had passed and that was why he was seeming cold. Thelma had wondered why her own butterflies seemed to be waxing stronger and his, dying. They told her it was like that for men, that women held more to emotions longer than men. 

Thelma endured the cold responses to her enthusiastic, love-filled texts, the 'I'm very busy' excuses, the dates cancellation and off/on excitement about her from him. She had prayed, read books on rekindling love, listened to talks on relationships and held on the the already-aching thread of their relationship only for this guy to have the guts to tell her he couldn't continue the relationship anymore, that he got tired and he wasn't sure he ever loved her. He claimed she was pretty attractive and very charming but apparently, not charming enough to retain his love. 

As she scrolled through the heart-breaking message for the umpteenth time, she made up her mind to do away with the other gender. Thelma started being unnecessarily mean, hostile and was full of negativity. The grief ate through her, till it consumed her very being.

Maybe you can relate with Thelma and you've lost something you cherished, been betrayed by a trusted friend, felt abandoned by God, disappointed by life itself, and maybe you've gone through all these over and over again and your heart can't take it anymore. You want to give up. In fact, you've given up. 

Beloved, you do not have to let that grief consume you. It's purpose can be redirected to your favor. Your battles can only break you or make you stronger.  You still have the very power to 'choose life' this day, to choose strength over brokenness, to see every situation as an opportunity to learn, Yes, you might have to repeat some 'classes' over and over, you might go through more series of lessons than the other person, but no matter how many you'd have to pass through, you can come out stronger and better than before.

Yes, I understand that sometimes, the easier route to take is the part of just giving up but hey, you don't do easy. You are stronger than easy and as much as you feel abandoned by your heavenly Dad, He's not left you even for a millisecond. His strength is made perfect in your weakness. 

Lean into your grief, don't fight it, let it seep deep into you and fade as it will. Learn, re-learn and come back stronger.

Love ya. 

A SPONGE, ARE YOU?

The ache she felt in her chest wasn't as a result of a medical issue. It was far from it for she was healthy physically but her mind, her spirit was sore. Esther took a deep breath, a practice she learnt would bring some calm. However, this deep breath had no business with 'calm'. It went further to the depth of her lungs to fetch more water from the well of her despair.

She sought the remote with trembling fingers, found it and hastily switched off the television. The voice of the newscaster delivering such melancholic news tore deep into her chest, she could bear it no longer. 'How can a mother lose three of her kids in one day, at the same time? It wasn't fair!' she thought as her eyes welled up with tears. The environment suddenly chose to wear the colour black, spelling sorrow. The atmosphere, so gloomy.

Her mind was an expert in connecting dots not necessarily connected together, but probably having same effect - sadness. Her thoughts flashed to Mrs Simiat, a woman she had met in the bus the other day. Mrs Simiat sat beside her, her arms crossed over each other, and a veil covering her face. The wind blew as the bus sped up and the veil shifted a bit revealing a swollen eye Esther couldn't ignore. 'Excuse me, ma'am', she called to the woman beside her, after a brief debate in her head as to whether she should mind her business or ask questions.

Mrs Simiat's narration of how she'd been beaten severally by her husband sent sharp waves of pain to Esther's heart and she fought tears.

This memory, coupled with the recent news put a heavy weight of sadness on Esther's shoulders and weakened her to the core. She was an empath, a Sponge. 

Often times, she absorbed emotions around her, from people she spent time with. She didn't know how to care for others without letting the river of their pain enter into her boat to the point of sinking her down, even further than the original pain-bearers. It affected her mental health, her prayer life, her relationship with people, and of course, her countenance. It would usually take her a long while before she could finally squeeze out all the pain she'd absorbed.

Esther's character probably resonates with you. You do not know how to filter the energies you receive, you just absorb all- the good, and the ugly. It weighs you down, slows you down too and tells on your disposition. You are like a sponge🤗, an empath without filter 😊.

Hey, you know you do not have to absorb everything.

It can be mentally draining and uneasy to manage. You can help yourself out by applying the following:

- Set clear boundaries. These boundaries should be placed regarding those you chose to spend your time with, the things you choose to listen to, the movies you choose to watch and so on. Just mindfully watch the things you expose yourself to. 

- Embrace and Utilise the strength of your Sponge-likeness. Being a Sponge isn't necessarily totally negative. You can absorb the good stuff as much as you can the negative ones. Channel your energy to exposing yourself to things that will uplift your spirit, keep you in a bright mood, cool and sane. Spend time with loved ones and people that energise you. 

- Becareful not to submit to fear and anxiety in the process of filtering the energies you absorb. There is a tendency to fall on the path of fear and anxiety in a bid to avoid negatives. You have to understand that as much as you'd guard yourself against negative energies, it does not imply that at the hearing of a 'sad story', you take to your heels😂, or shut your ears with clear rigour. Sometimes, you will have to hear those things or come across negative energies. What are you to do at this point? 

Create a shield in your mind and understand that you can be apart from the energies you feel around you. You can observe these negatives and still maintain the inner peace and joy you feel. 

- Know that as a Sponge that absorbs, you can also squeeze things you don't need, out of you. When you've absorbed the bad stuffs, and it's already feeling overwhelming, hey, just squeeze 'em out. You can do this by decluttering your mind through means of journaling, praying, etc, and replacing your mind' s space with the good stuff. 

- Don't forget to talk to your Daddy in heaven about how you feel. He made you, so He definitely knows the stuff you're made of.😊He will help keep you sane. 

Have a lovely week 🤝❤️

WHERE DO YOU THRIVE?

There's a lot of copy and paste culture in the world that the word 'authenticity' should probably be scrapped from the dictionary. Sodom appears to be a land of greener pastures and prosperity and so Lot wants to go there without thinking... 'Is this place meant for me? Is this where I'd thrive?'

So, he goes there only to discover the worst. 

"Where do you thrive?". This is a question we have to ask ourselves and give an answer so true. Forget the rat race that comes with seeking short cuts to success that would lead you to following paths not meant for you just because a lot of people seem to thrive in that path. These paths might necessarily not be Sodomy nor evil. They just might not be meant for you. You'd take such paths and discover you aren't flourishing like the others and even if you are, there's no satisfaction within and you'd begin to wonder if your village people are after you. No sir, No ma! You're just on a wrong track!

Consider what makes you come alive. That thing or those things that are like the best fertilisers for your life plant to blossom, pray and pursue those things.For some, it could be the arts. For others, technology, and so on. Do not let the absurd money-chase make you lose sense of your purpose, your authenticity and unique flavour and at the end you discover that you only lived a life to fit in, rather than a fulfilling life. The world needs that uniqueness.

Again, 'Where do you thrive?', 'What makes you thrive?'.