"DEAR ME"; A NOTE TO SELF

*The day was a calm day, the rays of the sun reflected from the window causing diagonal glowy lines on my worried filled face as i stared out the window. I turned back towards the small table beside my bed, picked up the exercise book there and tore the middle part of the book. 

 I took in two deep breaths as I took my pen and began to write..

  "Dear me,

       It's been a pleasure getting to know you for at least 19+ years. Tomorrow you'll be turning 20. I'm writing this because as much as you've been a pleasure, you're becoming a burdened house these days. 

     At first, I thought it was just a simple thought you let into your head thar would soon fade away but it turns out it's not ready to leave anytime soon and that is why I have decided to give you the due pep talk because I'm sure  body is tired of the increased heart rates, sleepless nights, overthinking and all the recent habits you've adopted these days. 

  See girl, I know you're turning 20, and so what?!, Yes, Sarah already has a business of her own at 18... Okay. Joyce is already in the movies and shes your age mate...ehen?, Bisola is already preparing for her master's degree at 21 and you at 20 are still dragging with ASUU in year 2...hmm.

  YOU NEED TO TAKE A BREAK!!! ...."*

 

  It is without no doubt that at a certain point in life, we all go through this stage of intense worry and anxiety. A thirst for a perfect life driving us crazy and our thoughts howling wild in our heads. It is quite normal for any good-life thirsty youth to feel this way at times. It is often fuelled by what we see around us, the successes of our friends, age mates, the rate at which time seems to be flying, the high expectations of our loved ones, our family background, the need to be better and even sometimes, motivational speakers tend to fuel it too. 

  We begin to compare ourselves to others, we begin to count each day and moment. We suddenly want so badly for that perfectly outlined life we've randomly or seriously thought of to play out exactly as planned.

  "I want to have my own house before 25", "I want to be an independent woman before getting married at 24", "I want my parents to see their grand children while they can yet still see" "I'm the first son of my family and I can't keep depending on my parents for long" and so on...

  Lots and lots of already laid out life we've made for ourselves, a rigid organization, no room for flexibility. We want it to go as planned and it gives us anxiety when it becomes clear to us that the seemingly far future is just as near as a stone-throw. 

  Sweetheart, it is time to TAKE A BREAK!!!. Worrying and anxiety coupled with insomnia won't solve anything. There's no need to "rush". You are very different from Seun or Isaac or Bola that you're comparing yourself to. Clearly, the panic of growing older eats deep but it mustn't "consume" you. 

   Stop the overthinking. Relax but don't relent, slow down but don't stop moving. Just set both short and long term achievable goals and prayerfully and consistently work towards them. All fingers are not equal, everybody is not the same. Create room for flexibility and remember;

  LIFE IS NOT A SPRINT, IT'S A MARATHON.

  *For few minutes, I found no more words to fill the remaining lines of my paper, the last words i wrote were enough to jolt back my sanity. I actually needed a break. I'd enjoy my birthday tomorrow with friends and family. Live, pray, work hard but avoid anxiety and watch things play out in God's own idea of "my perfect life". I smiled, looking back towards the window where the sun was setting beautifully. I ended my letter...

                                            Your's ever,

                                                Dinma.